First Draft Of Script Evaluation.

After reviewing my first script with Mr. Becker, We have there are some amendments and somethings that we have decided would be shown in a better way. The First amendment was that i was commenting on camera angles in my script, i have learnt that these go into the storyboard and not the script. I also realised that i need to give a better description of the main character. When doing my second draft I will comment more on her ethnicity and general appearance. In terms of improvement we decided that the last part of my film intro took us to far into the film. My intro will now follow the girl only to Waddon station, and cut to the man in the car. there will now also be a scene filmed at a train station change over point in which there will be a conversation between the woman and a man who is trying to direct her to Waddon station.. Her dialect here is going to be broken to show shes not English.